I was lucky enough to score an exclusive interview with a few of my favourite songs from Cooler Returns, the sophomore album from Kiwi Jr. I sat down with title track “Cooler Returns” and their buddies “Maid Marian’s Toast”, “Guilty Party”, and “Omaha” at the Spotify App On My Computer. We had the best time talking about their biggest influences and how they see the world. I transcribed our conversation here:
AC: Thank you so much for taking the time to sit down with me, “Cooler Returns”! You know, my first exposure to you was on Super Bowl Sunday 2020. How was that for you?
CR: [ “I did not feel well
Leaving the hotel.” ]
AC: I’m so sorry to hear that! I have to know, what is your nationality?
CR: [ “I’m not American
But I feel the beat sometimes.”]
AC: Very cool, very cool. I heard some reports that your neighbors don’t like you very much.
CR: [“I get carried away”]
AC: Right, so, I heard something about throwing dead birds in the air off the back of an ATV? What did you say to them?
CR: I was [“Singing, ‘Howdy, neighbours
How do you like my new ride?’”]
AC: Uh huh. Well, I hope the issue was resolved amicably!
CR: [“I was never one for trying to win as a team”]
AC: Okay… So, “Omaha”, do you have any crazy tour stories?
Omaha: [ “Tigers in the coliseum,
Lions at the Comfort Inn” ]
AC: Wow, that is not very descriptive but sounds wild! Do you have any advice for up and coming musicians?
Omaha: [ “There’s no proof that Woodstock ever
Happened in the first place.
Don’t blow your plain clothes cover.”]
AC: I’m sorry, what?
Omaha: [ “2021 tattooed on my ass
Man, what are you asking for
And why do you have to ask?”]
AC: Woah, woah, woah, man! I’m just asking for a little clarification.
Omaha: [ “Don’t blow your plain clothes cover.”]
AC: Sure, right, very comforting! “Guilty Party”, how do you feel about public scrutiny? I can imagine it’s hard to be under the spotlight sometimes.
GP: [ “The obvious answer is they just can’t stand us
I can hardly stand to be stood up here at all” ]
AC: I mean, you are welcome to sit down, there’s a chair right there.
GP: [ “They used to always catch me crying on campus
Now I only cry at the Dufferin Mall”]
AC: Wow, that sounds incredibly invasive but I’m glad you have a safe space to cry. So you enjoy malls then?
GP: [ “I hope I won’t be around
When the Shovel Committee
Shows their court ordered warrant to break ground
Because when they start digging
They don’t stop digging, ya know?” ]
AC: Yeah, man. We can all relate to that feeling. A feeling of losing something you love and having no control over it. I take solace in the fact that there are so many people actively creating and building new things! Do you have anyone you want to thank for being creative with you and getting this project off the ground?
GP: [“Who, me? I wish I could remember the name
I don’t remember no names no more”]
AC: Okay, sweet, thanks so much. Anyways, “Maid Marian’s Toast”, do you have a favorite pastime you can share with our readers?
MMT: [“Burn the restaurant down for the insurance money”]
AC: Oh, surely you’ve never committed arson and are now admitting that to our readers? Ha.
MMT: [ “Ye own the beehive,
Thus Ye own all the honey”]
AC: Hm, not sure what that means, but moving swiftly on. How do you see the world?
MMT: [“It’s the Twenties and you’ve got something we want
So you’ve made the decision to make the decision
Now spare us all from these half-assed revisions”]
AC: Oh, I didn’t mean to offend. Surely, we just met so I can’t possibly have anything you want.
MMT: [ “You’ve got something we’ve always wanted” ]
AC: Oh, no, I don’t think so. Let’s return to the task at hand, shall we?
MMT: [ “I never felt right burning the past
Because it isn’t past until it burns” ]
AC: Mm. Uh huh. COOL. This was a very light and fun interview and not cryptic and slightly unnerving at all. I wish y’all all the best but I was really only here for a haircut!
What a rollercoaster that was! 😉
Go listen to Kiwi Jr.’s sophomore album everywhere you stream music and get ready for a grungy off-the-cuff sound with some raw and intricate lyrics! Cooler Returns gave me very much 70s alternative pop and The Ramones vibes and it’s an all-around Good Time™️.